Hallelujah

I tried my best, it wasn't much

I couldn't feel so I tried to touch

I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you.

And even though it all went wrong,

I'll stand before the lord of song

With nothing on my lips but Hallelujah.

You learn a lot about the stuff you are made of when bad things happen. You learn (or perhaps I should say reaffirm) who loves you and supports you, and you also discover who needs to be left by the way.

A bloke named Leonard Cohen wrote a song a while back called Hallelujah. It's religious in it's context, but there is an underlying message of missed communication and errors in judgement. Now that I've come to the realization that the debacle that has raged in my mind about the Lawyer was a series of missteps, I feel soooo much better.

A positive thing has come of all this, and I hope to make good on it. My baby brother.

I am one of two in my family. My sibling is 9 years my junior, so we have lived very independent lives. In fact, it's almost like we were both only children. As a result of several incidents, we really haven't been close in the usual way that brothers are.

In an effort to switch things around, and become a better friend, I've been trying to make amends with those close to me, and I have not missed him in my efforts. It hasn't been an easy journey, and one that has been littered with various pratfalls along the way. The fact still remains that I do love my brother, and am very proud of his accomplishments. He has the most perfect wife, two darling children, and just a sweet little existance of which I am envious.

I'll talk more of him at a later date, but I wanted to put up a little post of thanks to those who have read my tribulations and have passed on words of encouragement. Know I am far better, and my mood will improve as time passes. In fact right now, I'm pretty happy and secure in my feelings, so thanks, guys and girls.

Of course, I couldn't let the day pass without mentioning two things. Today is the birthday of the USA. My fitting phrase is, of course Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori, or it is sweet and noble to die for your country. Never loose sight of that, given the current world events. While I do not *repeat* DO NOT support the current brouhaha in Iraq, I do support those placed in harm's way by an arrogant Commander in Chief.

I leave you with the words of Wilfred Owen:

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace

Behind the wagon that we flung him in,

And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,

His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;

If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood

Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,

Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud

Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,

My friend, you would not tell with such high zest

To children ardent for some desperate glory,

The old Lie;

Dulce et Decorum est

Pro patria mori.