Okay, I'm tired of the black background. It's too funky to try to read.
So, the clean, crisp look of white and black. Isn't it beauteous? Thought so. Some of the posts might be difficult to read due to the fact that the colour was chosen to contrast with a black desktop. So obviously, the white lettering on a white/new background is going to look translucent.
I'm in another transitional phase. It seems like I'm FOREVER moving from one stage in my life to the next. I've always embraced change, and thought of change as evidence of life, so this is no different.
The change I'm referring to isn't personal, it's a professional one. My personal life is more than fabulous. Having FA around has proven to be better than I would have anticipated (yeah, I had a bit of silent trepidation before the event--after all FA and I have only known each other for about 6 months.) In the long run, I followed my instinct, said hell yeah, and now I have no regrets.
Of course, it's just been a couple of weeks of cohabitation, and with FA's schedule, he has been in a training program, so he has been home every night--just like a real 9-5 gainfully employed hubby!
The profession is wanting a change, though. I'm not really at liberty to discuss the whys and hows of it, because I don't think that discussing work issues in a public forum is wise. One never knows who might read these words, and who might take offense.
No comment, then. I'll sat more later if it comes to fruition, but for the mean time, I'll be mum.
Back to FA, though. There is one thing that makes me feel amazingly secure with him, and in a way slightly codependent. Point is, I feel so amazingly secure with him, it scares me in a way. I cherish my independence, and the idea that I am somewhat reliant on another person to make me feel complete is a tad unnerving. It imakes me feel vulnerable, and I hate that in a way.
So to fight back, I stole a photograph of him looking happy as hell with an enormous smile (those who know FA know he has one of the most amazing, sincere smiles) and wearing his cute jacket that I hope to steal one day. I took said photograph, framed it, and set it on my desk at work.
When I walked in this morning, I sat at my desk and looked at my computer screen, and was frankly startled by that cute-ass face looking back at me. All day while I was running around putting out little fires and doing things for other people, my sweet Boo was looking back at me.
I can't tell you how happy it made me.
Therein lies my feeling of uneasiness. I have this feeling that if one day in the near future he turned to me and said "I'm through with you and I'm leaving" I'd fall apart for a couple days. Of course, I'd pull my shit together, but something would be misusing in my life, and there would be a hole where he fit so snugly.
It comes down to this: He makes me nervous for all the right reasons. I love him loads, and love the feeling of it. So, in the same way that I overcame the roughly 30 seconds of uneasiness at the prospect of FA moving in with me, I'll fasten my seatbelt low and tight across my lap and remain comfortably seated for the duration of the flight.
Because it's bound to be a long one....
Monday, August 29, 2005
Saturday, August 06, 2005
The latest update!
Okeydokes, it's been a while since I've written in this thing. Fact is, I haven't had much interest in updating it.
That said, we'll revisit what I've been up to recently. FA and I are still going strong, which is very good news for me and not so faboo for the slutty, slutty boys of Naptown. I have to say (and I believe I've said it before) FA has been such an amazing influence in my life....well...words can't describe it.
He makes me giddy
He makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world
He respects my need for alone time
He respects my need to be clingy and romantic
He's an amazing kisser
He's better in bed
He supports my silly thoughts
He's as close to a 50% partner than I've ever come across
He comes with travel benefits
He is cuter than a bug's ear
He doesn't come with the baggage that I've encountered with the other black guys I've been with
He is absolutely unafraid of PDA
He doesn't laugh at me when I dance
This is just a short summary of why I'm still digging on this guy. Shift up to a recap of my previous relationships, and I think you'll understand why FA hits a home run where my previous ones have left me slightly dry.
OH! We took a vacation together. Add to the list:
I can travel with him without wanting to kill him
It was a short sojurn to a place he has history in, Richmond, VA. Nonetheless, I had the opportunity to meet some friends of his, and also I missed the chance to meet one of his closest friends, a fact that still bugs me a bit. To add to my glowing list of FA reviews:
His friends, without fail, tell me what an amazing guy he is
That's perhaps the best review of all. I was almost tired of hearing it after a while. By the same token, it was an incredible thing to hear over and over again, and it made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world to call him my own.
God, I just made myself nauseous.
Before I continue, I'll issue a caveat that if that previous post made you woozy in the tummy, you're gonna blow chunks after reading this next one. Wrap the keyboard in Saran....
Now, I'll admit, and most guys who know me well will unequivocally admit that I am...uhh...community property That's polite parlance for saying I'm sorta slutty. Not in a vicious way or anything, but facts is facts. I like sex.
a lot.
As such, I can honestly say that a lot of guys have seen my pee-pee on webcams, etc. it's something that excites me in a way because it's an exhibitionistic thing that one can do without the threat of being arrested. (this is another story entirely, and one that is saved for a better time.)
I had to tell you that story to tell you this one--I'm totally monogamous with FA. To the point that I can look at a cute guy, and think--man he's HOT! But I don't want to shtup him. Again, for them that know me, you'll realize that this is totally out of character for me There's just one that I want to boink, and it's my dear sweet FA.
Enough of my blathering...Be well, and be loved.
That said, we'll revisit what I've been up to recently. FA and I are still going strong, which is very good news for me and not so faboo for the slutty, slutty boys of Naptown. I have to say (and I believe I've said it before) FA has been such an amazing influence in my life....well...words can't describe it.
He makes me giddy
He makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world
He respects my need for alone time
He respects my need to be clingy and romantic
He's an amazing kisser
He's better in bed
He supports my silly thoughts
He's as close to a 50% partner than I've ever come across
He comes with travel benefits
He is cuter than a bug's ear
He doesn't come with the baggage that I've encountered with the other black guys I've been with
He is absolutely unafraid of PDA
He doesn't laugh at me when I dance
This is just a short summary of why I'm still digging on this guy. Shift up to a recap of my previous relationships, and I think you'll understand why FA hits a home run where my previous ones have left me slightly dry.
OH! We took a vacation together. Add to the list:
I can travel with him without wanting to kill him
It was a short sojurn to a place he has history in, Richmond, VA. Nonetheless, I had the opportunity to meet some friends of his, and also I missed the chance to meet one of his closest friends, a fact that still bugs me a bit. To add to my glowing list of FA reviews:
His friends, without fail, tell me what an amazing guy he is
That's perhaps the best review of all. I was almost tired of hearing it after a while. By the same token, it was an incredible thing to hear over and over again, and it made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world to call him my own.
God, I just made myself nauseous.
Before I continue, I'll issue a caveat that if that previous post made you woozy in the tummy, you're gonna blow chunks after reading this next one. Wrap the keyboard in Saran....
Now, I'll admit, and most guys who know me well will unequivocally admit that I am...uhh...community property That's polite parlance for saying I'm sorta slutty. Not in a vicious way or anything, but facts is facts. I like sex.
a lot.
As such, I can honestly say that a lot of guys have seen my pee-pee on webcams, etc. it's something that excites me in a way because it's an exhibitionistic thing that one can do without the threat of being arrested. (this is another story entirely, and one that is saved for a better time.)
I had to tell you that story to tell you this one--I'm totally monogamous with FA. To the point that I can look at a cute guy, and think--man he's HOT! But I don't want to shtup him. Again, for them that know me, you'll realize that this is totally out of character for me There's just one that I want to boink, and it's my dear sweet FA.
Enough of my blathering...Be well, and be loved.
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