The Boy with the Bugle

Time for an epiphany, complements of Auntie Mame.

I'm sitting around this morning, watching the sun come up, and listening to show tunes on the tv, when it suddenly hits me. That tune from Auntie Mame.

Angela Landsbury doesn't have a great deal of use to me as a whole, but I'll give it to her, she is one of the grande dames of the American stage, so I'll give her that. Just as Julie Andrews will always be fondly remembered for bringing Maria von Trapp to us on the screen (then later showing her tits in Victor Victoria--I'll never forgive her for that) Ms. L brought the house down with her stirring rendition of a song that aptly describes what I'm thinking today.

The 'Boy with the Bugle' is of course, the lawyer, and I am indeed wondering why I ever bought him those damn long pants.

...but more importantly, I never found the man before I lost him.

I fear in my bravado, I did overstate my case when I should have deferred and just shut the fuck up about what I was thinking. I've done it before, and I really should learn from my errors.

et hoc transibit....

Show Tunes

Hello again,

It seems the only time I do anything with this is when I'm troubled...and this is no exception. So, in an effort towards vicarious living, on with the writing!

For those of you who don't know, FA and I became history a while back. No need to hash up the where/why about it--it just ran it's natural course. He's moved from the role of lover to best friend, which is really fine by me. A boy can never have too many of them, right?

So, moving on, I came to Atlanta (Yes, with FA in tow--it's surreal living with one's ex--there's a lot of deja vu attached to it) Long story short, I thought I had found a fellow to settle with but that didn't turn out to be the case, so I'm back to square one in the romance department, which is unfortunate, because I really kind of liked the guy.

However, by the same token, I'm also willing to cut my losses and move onward and upward. I like to tell myself that I'm all cute and shit (in my own quirky way) and I even have the approval of a third party!

Here's the story:

I was working a laaate flight from to Akron. It was a full flight, but I was my usual chipper (smirk) self. This really cute (and I'm not just saying that) mother/daughter team came on, and sat in the last row of biz. The Mother at one point pulled me aside and said "My daughter thinks you are cute--she never says that about anyone." The daughter, a bit embarrassed piped in her agreement. Best thing of all, is this girl was HOT!

So there it is...girls like me! Now all I need to do is get a guy to do the same, and I'll be set ;-)

So anywhoooo here's the story of the Lawyer. As it is well known, I wear my heart placed prominently on my sleeve, which as we all know is a precarious place to put such a delicate thing. The Lawyer had a vacation abroad, which took him totally out of sight for 10 days, and as absence is wont to do, my heart grew fonder. In that way I have, I mentioned that in an email, and pretty much turned my soul inside-out for public consumption.

Then came the "let's be friends" chat. Needless to say, it took the helium out of my balloon. I thought I was sort of on solid ground with this one, because of certain things he had said that made my insides all woozy, and I have no reason to doubt his veracity. However, in retrospect, these comments were generally fueled by alcohol, which always gets the tongue in trouble.

So, I'm just a little tender right now, but I have things to occupy my mind and body in the interim, so all will be well. I even did something unwise last night--I went out with a friend and got smashing drunk. It was a sort of sad affair, though, because I was feeling like I left a little something somewhere, and I didn't feel like a whole. It always sucks *deep sigh*

...Kiss the day goodbye, and point me toward tomorrow....I did what I had to do...and I won't regret what I did for love....