The Plan

Something has gone terribly awry.

I've established a very elaborate plan for how to live my life, and it's all gone topsy-turvy. It's not a bad thing, and in fact, I must say that the last couple of weeks have really been pleasant, to the point of distraction. I met a boy!

The shocking thing is he's more than a boy. He's really, really special. Why? I can't define it, but he's got that cute thing going on, he makes me laugh, he's a dog person, unafraid of PDA, a really good kisser (and yes, other stuff too), he's intelligent (although I haven't asked him to use avarice in a sentence) but more than anything, he puts up with me and my quirks. He misses on one thing that I have constantly mentioned as a necessity for husband material--the age thing.

Over and over again, I've said that I need to date within my own demographic. He does miss there, on the younger side by more than 10 years. I guess I shouldn't bitch about that because age is truly arbitrary in the whole schema. It's a number, and nothing more. None of the guys that I've had successful relationships with have been in my age group; they have either been much older or much younger than I am. Maybe it's not such an important thing after all.One of the defining reasons that I'm starting to feel serious about this guy is something that happened when we had a little out of town jaunt last week. A friend climbed in the car and said, "I was puzzled when he said 'Bob and his boyfriend because Bob doesn't have a boyfriend.'"

That started my mind in motion--does Bob have a boyfriend? Has FA stepped over this tenuous line in the sand and become more than the latest guy I'm seeing casually? I'm thinking yeah, maybe.

It was another thing that made me think this, namely the fact that upon our return to Naptown, we were both tired, so we decided to get Chinese, a very nice bottle of wine, a log for the fire, and just curl up in front of the TV and become vegetables. FA had to go to work early the next morning, so I decided that I should do the gentlemanly thing and go home for the evening so he could do what he needed to do the next morning. He asked me to stay, saying "I'm not going to see you for the next week!" Yesterday, he said that plans had changed, and that he was going to come back on Wednesday. My heart skipped a little beat, and my internal dialogue screamed "Yow! I get to see FA!!" I wanted to do that little 'I get a treat dance' thatdogs do when you show them a bit of bacon.So, yeah. I'm pretty freaking happy. I keep thinking "do I love him?" I can't answer that one quite yet. I prefer to categorize it as some "I really REALLY like him."

The further thought is that love can't be far off, because of how I'm starting to think about him all the time, and how nervous that I am that I'll manage to fuck it up. I've talked him up to all my close friends, and we've been seen in public being very chummy. I was even admonished by

one friend, who said "FA is really digging you--You had better treat him well because we have tender hearts."

Well, not to worry, because I'm really digging FA. I'm happier than I've been in a mighty long time.

Oh, and on another note, due to circumstances QUITE beyond my control, I am sans Internet access at home. It's a long and not very entertaining story, so I'll skip it. In other words, if you want you some Bob, you better call the cellie. *groan* Odd thing is I don't miss the Internet access thing. I thought my world might come tumbling down, but in fact I've focused my energies on other things, so it's been really good. Of course I can't download porn at work, but somehow I've managed to survive! Go me!